K'un - Ta Yuo...to be blessed, to be a blessing

I am a radiant being and as such, I am a bountiful and blessed channel as I recognize, however humbly, that I am to serve and to serve joyfully...perhaps in a different way than I am currently, but all will reveal itself as life unfolds. I have talked about my ego several times over the past few months and am afraid that the very word 'ego' has a negative connotation and has been misunderstood by others at times in the past. Without an ego we are rudderless in navigating our own lives. As Maurice Fernandez says in his book "Neptune": Love originates through EGO. Only through ego can one identify emotionally with anything. He also states: "Ego is the vessel of personal consciousness through which evolution proceeds."

Thus, without an ego, we cannot understand what it is to love; nor can we actively participate in our own lives or in the process of evolution of our species. To have an ego is not negative. To have an ego is to be able to love, to understand love, and to give love generously to others. I have a defined heart center; I have an ego. I can give and give and give love. This ability is not always appreciated, respected, or understood.  Perhaps I have not always understood or respected it enough myself, as I have had to mature and grow just like the rest of us (well, for those of us who do! Sadly, it isn't a very high percentage). Now, however, as I go deeper into studying the I-Ching and the Tao Te Ching as I learn the Human Design, I find myself making progress at a rapid pace. This is also, due in part, to the blessings freely given to me by my spiritual friends, particularly Dean who has been like an Angel to me recently during an extremely difficult passage and Paulo who inspires me every weekend with poetry, photography, music, and words of the Masters right when I need to feel the comfort of the Universe wrapped about me so I do not fall into negativity. Without their kindness, connection, and giving, I would be (or would have been, in the past) unable to shoulder the burden of weekly separation from my SP, a separation I have yet to fathom. I have decided to no longer focus or think deeply on it. It is what it is.

I am feeling calmer than ever, with Chiron opposing my Mars and Neptune trine my Venus and square to him/her self. Calm despite the winds blowing around me. Calm despite the unsettled sea. Calm in the face of adversity and the deep echoes. I am loved and I am loving. I am learning and I am growing. I am happy thus. Throughout life I have been pulled and pushed, overwhelmed, pressured, clung too, worn down and worn out, overpowered, and walked upon...now I wish to lead a natural and peaceful life without all of the ups and downs, dramas and traumas, and emotional tragedy and pain. I want to release any anger and pain that still resides within. I want to feel at one in my peaceful state; to maintain the love that flows through me and share it with those who appreciate the deeper ways of being despite any hardship or sorrow. I am like a mountain being transformed and reshaped as the river rushes up against me.

I am tired now but I am feeling at peace.