So much for accomplishing much today...I am so fed up with everyone else's life impacting mine to such a point that I can't even do my own work because I have to attend to their 'emergencies' and needs. I feel pushed into these situations and not really sure what I can do about it. One thing after another. Sick of it.
Anyhow, I am just blowing off some steam and hoping to get at least a few hours in yet but since there is a mountain of homework to help Gare with I doubt it is going to happen. And tomorrow morning is blown too...again, with someone else's crap. I am just falling further and further behind but I have to release some of this in order to focus.
Being in FL seriously ruins Samhain for me...it's difficult to get into the shifting energy in 90 degree weather. If there is anything I miss about being up north it is the autumn. The colored leaves and cool air, the apples at the orchard, the festivals that really feel like fall festivals. Not just more of the same. No seasons. Just...this. Heat, wind, rain. Humidity. Though I seriously dislike snow...only for a few days do I enjoy it. Sometimes the very crisp and cold nights with icicles hanging off the trees. I can enjoy the beauty of it. Plus you can be outside all year, even in the very cold. You can bundle up but you can't take your skin off. Sometimes I wish I could! And yes, sometimes I do think about how much fun we used to have sledding. Ice skating. Building snowmen. Throwing snowballs. LOL That's what happens when you grow up with all boys! I was the only girl for over 9 years, with 3 brothers. Anyhow, I never want to LIVE in the snowy areas again but it would be fun to get the hell out of this place for even a few days. I am SICK of being hot and paying for so much electric. Frickin' 90+ degrees for Halloween. Sucks.
Ok, I'm done being negative now...just have had an overwhelming day taking care of everyone else and their emotions and their problems while my work goes undone. I need some 'me' time...I haven't had any in so long.
But in a few months I will see my SP, which gives me so much to look forward to...so, so much. Wish I could see him now...lie with him, snuggle and cuddle and relax together in silence. I hope his day will be much nicer than mine has been.
And so I will share part of Christina Rossetti's "Goblin Market" - it is simply too long to put it here in it's entirety! And it is somewhat appropriate to my current situation with my sister, and the role I have to play. sigh...
My favorite lines from the poem are:
"She sucked and sucked and sucked the more
Fruits which that unknown orchard bore"
"Backwards up the mossy glen
Turned and trooped the goblin men,
With their shrill repeated cry,
“Come buy, come buy.”
When they reached where Laura was
They stood stock still upon the moss,
Leering at each other,
Brother with queer brother;
Signalling each other,
Brother with sly brother.
One set his basket down,
One reared his plate;
One began to weave a crown
Of tendrils, leaves and rough nuts brown
(Men sell not such in any town);
One heaved the golden weight
Of dish and fruit to offer her:
“Come buy, come buy,” was still their cry.
Laura stared but did not stir,
Longed but had no money:
The whisk-tailed merchant bade her taste
In tones as smooth as honey,
The cat-faced purr’d,
The rat-paced spoke a word
Of welcome, and the snail-paced even was heard;
One parrot-voiced and jolly
Cried “Pretty Goblin” still for “Pretty Polly;”—
One whistled like a bird.
But sweet-tooth Laura spoke in haste:
“Good folk, I have no coin;
To take were to purloin:
I have no copper in my purse,
I have no silver either,
And all my gold is on the furze
That shakes in windy weather
Above the rusty heather.”
“You have much gold upon your head,”
They answered all together:
“Buy from us with a golden curl.”
She clipped a precious golden lock,
She dropped a tear more rare than pearl,
Then sucked their fruit globes fair or red:
Sweeter than honey from the rock,
Stronger than man-rejoicing wine,
Clearer than water flowed that juice;
She never tasted such before,
How should it cloy with length of use?
She sucked and sucked and sucked the more
Fruits which that unknown orchard bore;
She sucked until her lips were sore;
Then flung the emptied rinds away
But gathered up one kernel-stone,
And knew not was it night or day
As she turned home alone."
and the last verse, about the sisters - I am the strength, the one who lifts during the stormy weather:
“For there is no friend like a sister
In calm or stormy weather;
To cheer one on the tedious way,
To fetch one if one goes astray,
To lift one if one totters down,
To strengthen whilst one stands.”
