Sun - Saturn...????

Something for me to ponder and think about...powerful conjunctions. Is it the house? Is it the situation? Is it both?  Probably.

Love, Born

Though I have been a bit lazy over the weekend I am happy as I have been inspired today to write a new poem, called Love, Born.  It arose while doing the dishes but that is how it goes, lol.   All of my creative drive has been going into my book, which is great too. It's hard to focus with the kids home on the weekends and while I was feeling a bit down last night and this morning, I am feeling lighter today. 

I've been doing a lot of inner processing and the anger I expressed the other day, while not very pretty, seems to have helped me release some of the old resentments. I am trying to work through this healing process and not repress the anger and sadness, which inevitably will arise. I want to leave on good terms and not as enemies. The children are the most important and I want it to be a genuine release without serious conflicts. I want to be able to look at him and feel compassion and forgiveness. I feel this will be easier when we are physically apart.

Dae is listening to Christmas music! 

I feel that dreaded tiredness sneaking upon me and there's really nothing here to make for dinner. I do not feel like walking 4 miles to get food either. I did that yesterday but only got enough food for one day. Will have to figure something out though.

Damn she can rock...

I can't believe I never heard of this woman before...I'm sort of shocked by that, as I was very deeply immersed in 70's rock growing up and this woman can really go at it. I can see how Joan Jett came up behind her, listening to this and also, unfortunately, copying her. Jett loses a little bit of her appeal due to that but of course her most popular songs, including "I Love Rock & Roll" and the one I love most, "Crimson and Clover" are covers!  So I see she lacked originality but has that je ne sais quoi that makes people stand out.

So, wow, Suzi Quatro...she can rock.

And my life is sort of fucked at the moment so I was escaping through music and no work has gotten done. After waking up to receiving my b-day gift from SP and thinking it was going to be an amazing day, things sort of took a southerly nose dive with this POS issue and being flat ass broke and all my savings depleted. I am really happy with the book as it is wonderful and full of so much info...how does he know how to get the perfect thing for me? :)  He amazes me and is so generous...I give thanks for him every day and love him more than I could ever put into words.

I feel radiant...

but tired after sorting out some things and then doing yoga and then learning new meditations...despite the tiredness, which they said in the video may happen, I am feeling calm and happy. My nose still feels like it is on fire...LOL. It's been a number of years since I've used the breath of fire and wow, I can tell. But it is time to really shift myself physically.

I have been working on my health and I think I know what has happened. Last year when I was pushing my body so hard, working out for 90 minutes in the morning and then walking long distances in the evening really exhausted my adrenals, which I am prone to. So now for me to push my body like that again...it's just not going to work. I'm trying to compromise with it and take things gradually instead of expecting perfection immediately, which I tend to do to myself too much. I wish I could break my diet pepsi addiction as I know it is horrible for me and yet I crave it. Mainly when the stress gets to be too much. I

wow...too tired to even ramble. Better lie down for a bit.

I love him

I just feel it so deeply tonight...I wish we could be together, communicating with our bodies. He is the sexiest man in the Universe.

The Garden Of Love

The Garden Of Love

I went to the Garden of Love.

And saw what I never had seen:

A Chapel was built in the midst,

Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of this Chapel were shut,

And Thou shalt not, writ over the door;

So I turn'd to the Garden of Love,

That so many sweet flowers bore,

And I saw it was filled with graves,

And tomb-stones where flowers should be:

And priests in black gowns, were walking their rounds,

And binding with briars, my joys & desires.

William Blake

Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder

I am too tired to write much but I wanted to express my thanks and gratitude for my SP's presence in my life. He has touched me in ways that can't be explained. I feel him and understand him on a level that others could not imagine. He is a wondrous and amazing man who continues to capture my heart and fuel my inspiration. I love him. He brings me peace and a deep desire all at once.