Hmmm...just a ramble

My playlist is driving me crazy...all of the songs are acting like Youtube videos - not playing and stopping. How am I supposed to enjoy my songs with this BS.

I've been thinking about going to the Aerosmith concert but not sure...it sucks that I am only just now checking out the concert series as the one I would have liked to go to most is tomorrow! Can't do that. Doh. Other than Aerosmith I think the only other one I'd care for is Sugarland. Sometimes the country concerts are the best, lol. Not so crazy and wild an audience. And what is really crazy is that none of the Broadway plays I want to see are in my area this season :(  No Cirque du Soleil either. Sigh...

BUT the Moscow Ballet is coming to St Pete on December 28th to perform the Nutcracker...the tickets are almost gone already though and they are very expensive.

I'm just rambling, LOL

I have been daydreaming about my SP and so tried to distract myself because I long to see him so badly.

Saturn retrograde

I had a lovely comment today from a site visitor:

Dear Dena,thank you so much for your articles. I am absolutely amazed after reading about natives with saturn in retrogade in their natal birth chart. Yes, I am one of these people and when I was reading the article I totaly recognise my own life story.I never managed to have a good relationship with my dad and yes, I was locked in a difficult marriage and I met my soulmate while I was married and he stood by me for 2 and half years waiting for me to realise that the life I had at that time was nothing but built on other people expectations and cultural adequacy. My soulmate, my husband makes me feel like a person who actually is worth something and I never knew I could achieve a lot in my life. I guess I was very lucky to get the gift of my soulmate who had turn my life completely around.Thank you so much for your fantastic and accurate work. Many regards Zdena

Her words give me hope that my life can turn around too but who knows...I have a very difficult Saturn and even though I am aware and I work through things, I just don't know...but I'm glad she made it through the wildnerness and shared her words with me and my site visitors. We all need as much inspiration as we can get.

I wanna live a little bit before I die

I really need to have some fun and play in my life...everything has been too heavy and everything is in a state of transition. I'm sick of being responsible and I'm bored to tears with all this waiting and waiting and waiting. I want action...laughter...fun...  I just want to chat and joke and hell, make animal noises, run barefoot, play in the rain...

I'm in a weird mood. I feel torn between the old and the new (Saturn and Uranus opposition!! On my Mars/Venus midpoint and I am down right impatient.  I see the old fading out and I am releasing people, places, and things but I don't really see any forward movement on a new frontier.  Plus I'm moody because I am trying to get my blood sugar under control and it always makes me a little grumpy.

I want to Fly Away...

Oh I swear this town gets smaller everyday,
and I'm waitin for my chance.
I'm gonna break away.
I'm so sick and tired of being told what's good for me.
People got lots of ideas, of who I'm supposed to be

Angel carry me, oh so far away.
May my body never... touch the ground.
And If I promise you that I'll be back someday,
will you set me free so I can fly away?

Fly away... fly away...

Well most folks here well they don't dig too deep.
They can't dream too big... ummmmhmmm...
cause they've got fields to keep
I could walk away and leave behind my family.
Or get buried alive in this legacy.

Angel carry me, oh so far away.
May my body never... touch the ground.
And If I promise you that I'll be back someday,
will you set me free so I can fly away?

Fly away... fly away...

I wanna sleep under a different piece of sky
I wanna live a little bit before I die
I wanna be so close to heaven I see angels...

Patience, doubt, faith, and money

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

Buddha

 

On life's journey faith is nourishment, virtuous deeds are a shelter, wisdom is the light by day and right mindfulness is the protection by night. If a man lives a pure life, nothing can destroy him.

 

Buddha

 

Money is coming in...I have nonstop clients. I am so thankful for this wave of work and grateful too...I hope it will continue on for a while as I've been catching up the business needs and also continuing to save to get the hell out of my situation. Each penny put back is a symbol of hope and progress.

 

 

You are the only exception

I so love this song

Finland...and....

I think I want to go to Turku...this place looks very nice to stay in: http://www.parkhotelturku.fi/en/

http://www.turkutouring.fi/public/default.aspx?culture=en-US&contentlan=2&nodeid=8726

And a tourism site for exploration: http://www.finland-tourism.com/en_US/web/guest/finland-guide/home

Nothing much was accomplished today workwise...though I have made quite a bit of money. Unfortunately I have had to spend it on the car and on ordering product for backorders. I have been thinking of a holiday and decided to begin looking at Finland for next summer. I'm feeling weird tonight...a little depressed and very sexual all at once.

Heaven's Be....I'm laughing my ass off

OMG I HAVE to put this here so I can come back and laugh again in the future. I stumbled on this on some weird site about tatoos and when I saw the heading "Sarah Palin's Tramp Stamp" OMFL...so fitting, so true. What an embarrassment for our nation. She's great for comedy though. As I read through the comments on the page I saw that they are now calling her 'Failin' Palin" Oh wow, I have tears coming out from laughing.

And for American satire, this just can't be beat: http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2006/11/demonbabys-election-day-hideous.html

What a fun way to start a Sunday morning, LOL....oh my

Evolving perspective and deeper understanding

Dropping myself an astrological quote from G Bogart's "Astrology and Spiritual Awakening":

"Finally, transpersonal astrology provides insight into the process of self-transcendence and spiritual awakening. In Rudhyar's (1979) view, becoming a relatively free and autonomous individual is only a transitional stage in human development, one that is fraught with isolation and desperate attempts to satisfy personal desires. He envisions transpersonal astrology as a means of understanding the dramatic 'reorientation of consciousness' that enables one to transcend the state of a power-hungry, "money-conditioned individual" and to become a compassionate, self-consecrated servant of humanity as a whole."

I believe that some of my recent psychological struggles has been, in part, due to my trying to be more in body and to 'fit-in' and do what is necessary to live in this world and on this planet. I've had a lot of wounding in this body. It was hard enough to have to come back here at all, let alone into the family I currently have. I realize that it is necessary for my own evolution and finalization of karmic debts, to heal the current ego, and to continue to 'reorient' my consciousness. In this sense, I am certain that my longing to escape this body and this life is an urge for transcendence. To be beyond these earth-based needs and practicalities. In some ways I am much more Piscean than Virgoan and funny how it all seems to make so much more sense due to my experiences in Seattle. Accepting that I HAVE to be in body has taken me so much of this life and obviously I still haven't completely accepted it or I wouldn't continue to have my occasional urges. I have lost all suicidal drive this past week and the bizarre urge to cut has long since fled as well...in retrospect I can see that the so-called 'spiritual' and 'astrological' people I have been 'hanging out' with over the past few months are really people of much lower quality and in detrimental evolutionary status. As they show more and more of their true natures, I am repulsed. It isn't so much what they say - and I know I can say all sorts of unsettling things myself - but rather their behavior and consistent disturbing thought patterns that expose the true quality of their inner being. I have been absorbing some of their energy and that has caused an internal conflict within my own self as I didn't know that this energy WASN'T MY OWN! But now I do and that is why I have been able to re-center and find my own core and space. Ironically, they are much older than I am but I have long since discovered that age has almost nothing to do with wisdom or soul maturity.

The internal conflict was my own Soul fighting to maintain my integrity in the face of the foreign, self-centered, and money-conditioned energy coming from these other people. When I cut them off emotionally and stepped back and turned to my work, I discovered that I had been infiltrated by the energy of these people who pretend to be my friends but really want to SUCK OFF MY ENERGY. This is NOT good. I am super-super sensitive right now with my Neptune square/grand square pattern and Saturn in the 12th. I need to protect myself and maintain my boundaries and erect stronger walls. I no longer feel on the edge of a breakdown and no longer fear it...as long as I can understand what is happening, I am generally able to do what is necessary to function. Being with Thomas and working in my book has also given me joy and a higher sense of purpose. Maintaining my faith in my relationship with SP also helps keep me focused and functioning. He is my best friend, my spiritual companion, and my lover...on a higher level, on a spiritual level, I know that our journey together is the most important shared journey of my entire current incarnation and perhaps the most important shared journey of several lifetimes.

A snake and tribal paint

Well...even if a lot of people have crap to say about the lyrics and the video, anything with a snake and tribal paint is exciting for me, LOL Besides, I like the music and I know all about feeling a bit obsessed in love...if I'm not feeling that at least some of the time, I'm bored. I know I'm hard to hold, so there needs to be something to stimulate me and keep me coming back for more. I've found that quindeciles can be exciting! LOL!!!!!!!

Such erotic thoughts...

For my SP

Separating Our Full-on Flesh

Enclose me in that small place,
Bars tight and solid as I press back against them
Drenched with desire, the black sky pushing down,
Separating thighs gliding white like moonlight,
Beckoning -
The scent draws you forward, the sea of me
Ripe and ready for penetration,
Fingers bared disappear, first one then two,
Thrust into the warmth of the tropics, exposed
Yet contained, the undulating rhythm urging you
To enter,
To grasp the bars and shake them hard as I call
Out to you, your name piercing the night
Swollen and sweating as you advance, driving hard,
Taunted by the iron separating our full-on flesh,
Pushing hard to learn this new dance,
Shuddering into me, a crashing star burning volcanic
Deep into the crescent,
On my knees, shaking, on fire,
So full…flooded…
Overflowing with the paradise of you.

Why do I like Eminem so much? lol

Damn...I suppose it is because he is such a rebel and, well, he's "Not Afraid". I really admire big kahunas, LOL Both me and Dae really like his new song...like a lot of his stuff. Can't help it. I feel very much like him. Love his anger...so what if I'm weird.



When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony

Death to the Old

Death to the old ways of being,
The restrictions of others have kept me from seeing,
It’s time to embrace the inner me now
To do the things others refuse to allow -
To travel, to write, to draw love near,
Death to the inhibitions, Death to the Fear.
I am free to grow beyond all belief
Let go of the past, the people who cause grief,
It’s time to step forward, to be strong, be brave,
Time to challenge myself and gather all I crave.
Death to the past, to the pain holding me down,
My eyes are open and I’ve looked around!
There is love there before me, a whole joyous world,
But first I must break the bindings that hold me furled.
Death to the old, open eyes to the new,
Death to the old, open heart to the new,
Open arms, open mouth, I have a voice
Death to the old, I have a choice!
Death to the fear that locks me away!
I gather my courage to break all restraint,
I’ll let go of the past without fear of taint.
I am whole and glorious, a great noble woman!
The energy of this spell makes me understand,
Life is too short to waste it constrained,
It’s time to journey forward, in my own name.

What the hell...

HADES! LOL I'm crazy but I already started a new poetry blog:

Hades Moon Poetry

How damn fitting.

Breaking up is hard to do

Strawberrying

My hands are murder-red. Many a plump head
drops on the heap in the basket. Or, ripe
to bursting, they might be hearts, matching
the blackbird's wing-fleck. Gripped to a reed
he shrieks his ko-ka-ree in the next field.
He's left his peck in some juicy cheeks, when
at first blush and mostly white, they showed
streaks of sweetness to the marauder.

We're picking near the shore, the morning
sunny, a slight wind moving rough-veined leaves
our hands rumple among. Fingers find by feel
the ready fruit in clusters. Flesh was perfect
yesterday . . . June was for gorging . . .
sweet hearts young and firm before decay.

"Take only the biggest, and not too ripe,"
a mother calls to her girl and boy, barefoot
in the furrows. Don't step on any. Don't
change rows. Don't eat too many." Mesmerized
by the largesse, the children squat and pull
and pick handfulls of rich scarlets, half
for the baskets, half for avid mouths.
Soon, whole faces are stained.

A crop this thick begs for plunder. Ripeness
wants to be ravished, as udders of cows when hard,
the blue-veined bags distended, ache to be stripped.
Hunkered in mud between the rows, sun burning
the back of our necks, we grope for, and rip loose
soft nippled heads. If they bleed - too soft -
let them stay. Let them rot in the heat.

When, hidden away in a damp hollow under moldy
leaves, I come upon a clump of heart-shapes
once red, now spiderspit-gray, intact but empty,
still attached to their dead stems -
families smothered as at Pompeii - I rise
and stretch. I eat one more big ripe lopped
head. Red-handed, I leave the field.

May Swenson
 

The Raw Fury of Moonlit Torture

The Raw Fury of Moonlit Torture

Willows slash like razors;
Tender skin rises, moon-welts glistening
As it gurgles, as it erupts in crimson -
Saille! O, how it leaps to the surface, a crusted
Demon bursting from the mound

Ashes, worm-enriched soil clinging like an omen
To the bindings, frayed but not broken,
not severed, no, not yet - What must I do?
Turn my wrists to the wind, palms open to the sky
As it lashes down in a crescent

Of sharp stings and wicked cuts to take the edge off.
I gaze into the puddle of murky water - this is
Where you feed, right here in the dusk of my seership,
Your roots tangling, creeping into crevices, unbalancing
Destiny as you grope to take firm root in the fertile soil

Of these bindings, slaughtered ancestry the blood
That rolls through these veins, the life I bleed out into
This pool where you sup and sabotage, bloated on my
Energy...I take it back. I cut through this tangled mess
With a razor as sharp as a willow whip,

Owl talons bared, ripping through the past like entrails,
Eyes glowing into the dark, exposing you to the wind,
To the crescent welts, to the raw fury of moonlit torture.
You are the demon cast upon the stone, broken.
You are the wound first cut, now cauterized.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A poem from the depths...I will look it over again at some point and see if I want to make changes but for now, it just wanted to come out. It's been a full and complicated few days. I try not to get too upset these days when things way beyond my control happen...money comes, money goes. That is how it is. I continually am thrown about by the tides of finances. There are days when I would like nothing more than to live a very simple and austere - yet rich - life in a hut in the woods. I woke up this morning thinking how I wished I was on Cold Mountain, listening to the birds and the waterfall in peace.

Owl Drinking at Dusk

A Wolf and a Bear...

I am just going to jot down what I remember of this strange dream I had last night so I can contemplate on the meaning and explore it over time.

I was returning home from a trip - I do not know from where - and was having a brief conversation with a man (but am not sure where we were. Maybe at the airport). I do not know who the man was or was supposed to be. Then it switched and I was walking down a road that appeared to be old as it was very narrow and bordered on each side with housing. It reminds me of roads I've seen in Irish and English villages but it was in the US. I've never been in a city in the US with roads that narrow, not even in the colonial section of Charleston. I was walking down this road with Sam but we weren't really talking (not unusual). What was unusual is that I had a long flute full of beer...shocking! lol  We were on our way 'home' and he was questioning me about my trip. Then, up ahead, I saw the man I had been talking to earlier on a balcony overhead with a woman and a man. He yelled down to me, "you aren't drinking, are you?" and I laughed and said, "well I have a beer but I've only taken a sip." There was shared laughter and then Sam said something to me (not sure what) and it irritated me and I dumped some of my beer on him.

It sort of moved forward again (or I'm not remembering) and we were still walking but through a park or a bit of forested area. I heard dogs howling and I said to Sam, "They haven't found the wolf have they?" He said no but I knew they were looking for the wolf.  We got to this place which was not our house but was supposed to be, only it was two stories and like a split apartment house. We lived upstairs. I went inside and the kids were there and so was Stef. I looked out this huge picture window and saw the wolf tied to a huge fir tree and was attached with a rope across to another tree where a brown bear was caught in the tree. It was obvious to me that they (whoever they were) were trying to help the brown bear by using the weight of the wolf, but they didn't have it set up properly to work. I made a few adjustments and down came the brown bear as the weight of the bear combined with the pull from the other tree and the wolf's weight somehow helped the other trees branch to snap off. The brown bear fell to the ground with part of a tree still tied to it. I cut the rope and pulled the wolf inside. He sat in front of me and I got a brush and began combing his fur, whispering and talking to him in a calm voice. I was a little worried  he may bite me but I pushed past the fear and kept brushing out his fur. Then I started petting him and stroking his fur, and I felt very loving and at peace but was worried they would find him.

It shifted a little again and Leah was there. I stopped brushing the wolf and was going to lie down and she was in  my bed. I said, get out of  my bed. She said "but I don't want to sleep on the floor." I said, "what happened to your bed?" Sam said, "I put it up."  So I got angry and said again, "get out of my bed. we will get your bed back out or you can go sleep in Darla's bed."  I went and checked in another room and sure enough, there was a bed for Darla but it was obvious we all knew she was dead. The bed was bare and the room clean. Stef was sharing a huge room with Gare and Dae had another room somewhere. I went to pull the blankets off Leah and she refused to get up but instead rolled around on my bed, making me very upset. Finally she got up and said "I don't want to hear any humping coming out of here." I told her she was disgusting and believe me, there wouldn't be any of that happening. Then I thought I heard Gare cry out and it was so real that I woke up and went and checked in real life. That is all I remember but the focus in my mind seems to be on the wolf and the bear. The wolf was being put in danger to help this bear, who just nonchalantly waddled off after being 'released'. It was so vivid.

I feel that my drinking beer when with Sam was a way to escape him. I am a bit perplexed about my sisters and why all 3 of them were there, even though Darla has been gone for 13 years this year. Perhaps because they were the one's I always tried to protect from my parents growing up and also the reason I have stayed so long putting up with my parents. So these things make sense to me.

The wolf I was very concerned about before even finding him tied in a tree, let alone tied to this big brown bear across quite some distance, maybe even a valley. When the bear fell to the ground (became grounded??) and then waddled off, I felt a sense of relief and yet some disgust that all the bear cared about was herself and getting what she needed. Then I immediately shifted focus to the wolf and helping him and soothing him.  Just a very odd dream. I think I will have to give it some time to think upon.

Just found this:

Be With Those Who Help Your Being

I will begin with a poem by Rumi...

Be With Those Who Help Your Being

Be with those who help your being.
Don't sit with indifferent people, whose breath
comes cold out of their mouths.
Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.

A chunk of dirt thrown in the air breaks to pieces.
If you don't try to fly,

and so break yourself apart,

you will be broken open by death,

when it's too late for all you could become.

Leaves get yellow. The tree puts out fresh roots
and makes them green.
Why are you so content with a love that turns you yellow?

Rumi - Ode 2865 Trans. Coleman Barks

Close your eyes...breathe...feel the energy relax, surround you...it is dark but peaceful. In the distance there is the sound of a waterfall, a bird's call, the gentle dance of leaves bending in the breeze...
 
I am there, resting in the silence. Calm and connected to Spirit, the energy of the Universe funneling through. I am there now. I am centered. Om Sri Shanaishwaraya Swaha. I dwell on the threshold with thee, O Karmic Lord, my thoughts crystallized into being through you...my release structured as I relinquish the past - ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I am free, a blossom opening, my rays intense as they pierce the depths. I am honored in your presence. Om Sri Shanaishwaraya Swaha.

I was very passionate and emotional yesterday and I realize I am still deep in the throes of healing. I have laid my Soul bare before my SP. I realize that my deep feelings in the morning yesterday churned up a lot of pain regarding my current situation and old karmic residue that needed release and understanding. He deserves 110% of me always; not part of me, not a shell of me, but me, whole and strong. I am still not certain whether I should have said all that I said, but I would never have dreamed it possible to trust anyone enough to share all I have shared with him. He is a blessing in my life and I say thanks daily for his presence. I strive not to be over-the-top but sometimes I feel I will burst with the feelings our connection invokes within me. I see the entire Universe in his eyes. I feel the presence of All That Is often in our communication. I felt it several times when we were together...that together we are more than "we" alone, that we are gazed upon with Starlight.

I'm floating in a dream

I am floating today in a foamy oceanic world of bliss. I am hopelessly enthralled and in love in such a deep and magnificent way that I am nearly rendered speechless. Any doubt or lingering fear has faded since my karmic upheaval in Seattle and the resultant healing period I struggled through. I've never been more certain of anything in my life. He continues to amaze me and each new awareness of him burrows deep inside, invoking an intriguing mix of passion and camaraderie that can't be put into words.  He astounds and pleases me with his brilliant and (truly) out-of-this-world insights. I feel his energy emerging from deeper and deeper within him, energy I felt from the first contact we had, energy that was blocked or restrained but beginning to flow so wonderfully, so powerfully, now. The more of himself he shares the deeper I fall...and I am reveling in it like Dionysus in his ecstasy. 

I desire him.  I want to be with him. There is just so much between us on so many levels that no one would ever understand except us, but that suits me perfectly fine. No one needs to understand except us...to heal and grow toward Higher Consciousness through our connection as we awaken and unfold. I am his. I am so aware of being his, so aware of my surrender to the currents that drive me ever closer to him...it is a deep feeling of bliss. I realize at the moment my emotions are not very contained so I am allowing them to flow out here, to wash through me, to be released freely. I have already written a poem called A Thousand Petaled Lotus but it wasn't enough, lol. I checked my transits and see that Neptune is EXACT, to the minute, back on my Venus.

I wasn't surprised to learn from his Michael Reading that he is a Priest - Artisan. We are so attuned and connected and I am an Artisan - Priest. This means that when we were 'sparked' we both came into being with the same permanent essence...only reversed. But from several discussions I had with Shepherd about my own chart where I was arguing that I was a Priest - Artisan (and this was before I met SP) he said that both are part of my permanent essence throughout every lifetime and so while I may feel more a Priest as my 'role' in life, neither can really be separated so I am both. In some lives I will seem to be more Priest and in other lives I will feel more Artisan. Well, in this life I feel both! lol What does that mean, or shouldn't I ask??

He is healing me...I hope that I am healing him as well. I want nothing more than to see him glowing and happy, strong within his own being, radiating all of his brilliant light and healing energy out into the world. Nowadays when lower sorts try to poison me with their whispers of fear I laugh them off because I realize they are coming from a completely different mindset. They cannot comprehend what it means to love someone unconditionally. What it means to give love and support to someone freely because it makes you feel wonderful instead of giving it wanting something back in return. To give to someone because you really - really - truly and deeply love them on a soul level. They do not know. Saturn and Neptune get such a bad reputation and for what? Because people are frightened to become. As Marianne Williamson says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

With Saturn and Neptune together, we get enlightenment. I will go into this very in-depth in my book :)  Anyhow, when other people - especially other astrologers - try to tell me that I am caught in a Neptune illusion and I should be more realistic, I literally laugh it off. Their version of realism is fear and doubt. I am not fearful. I am not scared. I am very certain on a level of certainty that reaches far beyond this temporary life. Others cannot understand that I come to him freely, without expectation. Others cannot understand that I am now at a point in my own growth that I am nearing liberation. I still have security fears regarding actual survival (mainly supporting my children, not myself) but I have no fear of being on my own otherwise. This is one of the gifts SP has bestowed upon me...a complete change in perspective regarding the situation I am still working through here. My love for him made me so very aware of the hollow life I had been living. Now I come to him from a place of internal strength and pure love rather than need or expectation. I am flowing along in my bliss, ready and willing to shift current when necessary.

Fragment of Zeus, Venus, &.... Poseidon?

Ahh, yes...I did attempt to work on this poem today and as it isn't going quickly, I guess I will post it here and watch it come into being and take/change form.

A flash penetrates dark clouds,
Ram-horned Jupiter shaking down bolts,
The leaves dancing haphazardly for the Selloi
Beneath the pink June sky.

I breathe in the air - moist, hot steam -
Palms to the sky, heart pounding, skipping beats
With my feet, hips circling as I watch the waves
Pounding upon one another - Venus rising up,

Her girdle loosened, gleaming with charms
Gathered from the foam - tiny tridents, glittering shells,

Then I got distracted thinking about Epoch charts and so curious about erecting one but not really discovering the secret key to doing so in Kepler or Solar Fire. I found a new program called 'Astrofire' but I can't spend that sort of money right now...besides, I have to purchase the Human Design Program first. That will be 500 Euros and I don't know when I will have enough funds for that either.
 
I'm a little calmer today and have been working hard for much of the day. I've got a full schedule again this week but much of it is just my regular work other than a ritual for a client...soon I will be able to start working on getting ahead again so I can take a few months off this autumn and put 100% into my book, which many are anxiously waiting for.  I have my deadline and will have to really give it my all and push myself to manifest this feat. I know I can do it but I am going to have to be strict and reduce my stress levels here. Yoga will help as will the gym. My goal it to have the book written and totally edited before I go away for Christmas...then when I get home, I have a two week window to finish it entirely and then, if all goes well, as soon as it is done and on the market I will have a break at the conference in Hawaii and relax :D  Ok, the one track mind is returning so I will scoot, lol. Thinking of that gorgeous face and intriguing eyes and those delicious kisses...