I love this tree, aptly named "Twisted Beauty" by the photographer. I will eventually write a poem for it, all in due course :) Today I finally wrote a poem after a few weeks off...actually, I just counted and it's only been ten days. The last one I kept to myself - I do that sometimes!
Twisted Beauty reminds me of my life. It is twisted and it is beautiful and sometimes it is twisted and beautiful all at once. There are days where I nearly give up trying to untangle it and this morning I felt squashed, as if nothing I do matters. I wrote a huge blog last night and then deleted it, for whatever reason...sometimes I do that too, when I feel too vulnerable.
I'm feeling very raw today. The Moon is activating the past Lunar and Solar eclipses, Mars is activating the t-square (was a grand cross when the moon passed through) and Venus is activating the recent Saturn-Uranus opposition. Venus is currently on my Venus/Mars midpoint and I feel this affects my ASC-DSC axis (being the rulers) as well as my nodes (with natal Mars conjunct the SN). I'm lonely. I do not know how much lonelier I can be and at the same time I don't feel like talking to anyone or reaching out. It will pass, I know. Life seems so unfair sometimes. I've been giving too much of myself away to clients again but I do not know what else to do when I need to earn money. I have new-old clients and new clients and a mass of appointments. This has got to have been the shittiest summer ever. Nothing but shit. Ongoing piles of it. I can only hope that things will improve once I get through all these lawsuits and hurricane season. Why is no one around for me to cry to? I've been the strong shoulder for countless people today and now I have to be for myself as well.
I shall end with a few quotes that express my own thoughts very well.
"It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive - to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are."
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
"We do not need more intellectual power, we need more spiritual power. We do not need more of the things that are seen, we need more of the things that are unseen."
Calvin Coolidge
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