Immortal love opens like a Lotus in bloom

In this sacred place, the inner core of my own Being, I am aware of the subtle shift not only within my own mini-cosmos but within the larger cosmos as a whole. Each day the sesen opens into a blossom as the Sun climbs higher in the sky...and I sense this blossoming as surely as I feel my love's heart beating as he rests.

Now I am at peace, in this moment I am in the flow, bathing in the richness of energy and the pulsating rhythm of the Universe. I am quiet and steady, my love growing with every breath I take in this body. My love for my love and my love for all that is, blossoming as the lotus in many directions, encompassing all in Spirit but reserved in essence for my immortal love, my beloved of the beloved. I am intense, true, and few would understand the depth of my intensity - the hot and cool waters which swirl together, the sacred pearl and the duality of life, the balance created through opposites as we interact and touch one another. There are no words to express all that I feel or all that I see...and the most magnificent aspect is the beauty of being able to let go. To relinquish control and knowing - trusting -that all will unfold as intended...having all fears quieted and standing steady in the garden, holding the apple with full knowledge that I will never regret taking a bite. For my love is a sacred love, an immortal love, reaching far beyond this life and this form, ordained and written in the Stars.

I have loved before...yet no matter how deep a love I have felt for others in the past, none come close to what I am feeling now. I have questioned whether I have ever truly loved before, and I feel the answer lies in the wide variety of manifestations of love and the potential to give and receive love. Yes, I have loved but not in such a spiritual, all-encompassing, unconditional, truly connected way...I have never felt so at ease within the emotions, so fully involved, grounded while dreaming. I have been involved in Saturn-Neptune connections before and have suffered both the beauty and the pain...but within this love, the times I have felt pain, I never lost sight of the beauty. Even when he let me go for several months, I embraced the beauty and the growth I had experienced within. Anger - which is something I would usually feel at such treatment - was fleeting and barely perceptible. Sadness, which I did feel, would have led to despondency and there were times of that...but beneath it all, even in our separation, I felt my love for him in a timeless way. A knowing that I loved him and that I had always loved him deep down within the waters of my Soul. A knowing that he was within me, always. And I liked feeling him within...and I have truly granted him access with blessings and love, trusting him with all that I am. He is the only Soul I would trust within my own. This sets him apart from every other love I have ever known. I admire him, I respect him, I honor him.

I do not know how it will unfold and I will not try to force it; rather, I will relax and enjoy him and our connection, knowing that I love him in an open manner, love freely and delightfully given, just as the Sun provides the light for the Lotus to blossom...knowing that I will love him forever, no matter how far apart we are, incarnated in form or not. No matter our challenges.

He is my Dragon, my phoenix and rebirth. His fire inspires me; his heart is the pearl of wisdom and unfolding beauty. Through my love for him I caress the Universe.

The dawn of a new day...

I'm in a much more positive space today, despite great worry about a few of my friends. I did help my counselor/reader the other night, so that was a wonderful feeling to wake up to. I am still in the early phases of healing but I know I will get there and be stronger for it.

I have spent the morning writing a new poem - A Whispering Breeze - and created a new shrine for those of us caught up in or wounded by a Saturn-Neptune Connection relationship. This relationship was my THIRD such Saturn/Neptune relationship...you'd think I would stay away from them like the plague by now, but no, I try, try again. Of course only those who have experienced them personally have any clue what it feels like, how you are drawn into it, how it feels so RIGHT. I work with these relationships all the time and the feelings and relationships are so familiar.

Shall I now vow NEVER AGAIN? Have I learned enough about it yet??? LOL

I saw online that there is SNOW in Virginia already, so it looks like we will indeed have a white Christmas on our short break there. We are escaping to the Blue Ridge foothills for Christmas this year...we will be WAY out in the boonies and I will turn OFF my blackberry and experience a little peace and quiet for a few days. I can assure you that the world will still turn without me, though you'd think the sky was falling every time I disappear for a few days by the guilt trips people lay on me. I have not had a break since a few days in Ohio late last year, so it is WAY overdue. My clients and site visitors will have me fresh again and ready to tackle their issues.

I've looked high and low for a poem I wrote earlier this year about digging a grave, but it must be lost on my destroyed PC. I will try to get it off there when I have more time...so the following poem from a few months ago will have to do, perhaps a precursor to the current issue:

They Sing in the Silence

These bones are bare,
Stripped of skin and flesh,
Demure and vulnerable,
Warm and yet so cold in the twilight
Of your gaze…
These bones are bare,
Cracked, lined zigzagging fissures
Resting sullenly in the box,
Alone and discarded in the aftermath
Of your ministrations…
Ahh…yes, these bare and broken things!
How they rustle while lying still,
How they sing in the silence,
Melodic whispers but an echo in the dark.
Listen! Listen…their song mournful
Yet vibrant, daring to spill secrets.

Oh…how they do sing!
A dirge of pain and cracked memories,
Taunting you with their fragility and strength…

Dena L Moore
September 2, 2008