In this sacred place, the inner core of my own Being, I am aware of the subtle shift not only within my own mini-cosmos but within the larger cosmos as a whole. Each day the sesen opens into a blossom as the Sun climbs higher in the sky...and I sense this blossoming as surely as I feel my love's heart beating as he rests.
Now I am at peace, in this moment I am in the flow, bathing in the richness of energy and the pulsating rhythm of the Universe. I am quiet and steady, my love growing with every breath I take in this body. My love for my love and my love for all that is, blossoming as the lotus in many directions, encompassing all in Spirit but reserved in essence for my immortal love, my beloved of the beloved. I am intense, true, and few would understand the depth of my intensity - the hot and cool waters which swirl together, the sacred pearl and the duality of life, the balance created through opposites as we interact and touch one another. There are no words to express all that I feel or all that I see...and the most magnificent aspect is the beauty of being able to let go. To relinquish control and knowing - trusting -that all will unfold as intended...having all fears quieted and standing steady in the garden, holding the apple with full knowledge that I will never regret taking a bite. For my love is a sacred love, an immortal love, reaching far beyond this life and this form, ordained and written in the Stars.
I have loved before...yet no matter how deep a love I have felt for others in the past, none come close to what I am feeling now. I have questioned whether I have ever truly loved before, and I feel the answer lies in the wide variety of manifestations of love and the potential to give and receive love. Yes, I have loved but not in such a spiritual, all-encompassing, unconditional, truly connected way...I have never felt so at ease within the emotions, so fully involved, grounded while dreaming. I have been involved in Saturn-Neptune connections before and have suffered both the beauty and the pain...but within this love, the times I have felt pain, I never lost sight of the beauty. Even when he let me go for several months, I embraced the beauty and the growth I had experienced within. Anger - which is something I would usually feel at such treatment - was fleeting and barely perceptible. Sadness, which I did feel, would have led to despondency and there were times of that...but beneath it all, even in our separation, I felt my love for him in a timeless way. A knowing that I loved him and that I had always loved him deep down within the waters of my Soul. A knowing that he was within me, always. And I liked feeling him within...and I have truly granted him access with blessings and love, trusting him with all that I am. He is the only Soul I would trust within my own. This sets him apart from every other love I have ever known. I admire him, I respect him, I honor him.
I do not know how it will unfold and I will not try to force it; rather, I will relax and enjoy him and our connection, knowing that I love him in an open manner, love freely and delightfully given, just as the Sun provides the light for the Lotus to blossom...knowing that I will love him forever, no matter how far apart we are, incarnated in form or not. No matter our challenges.
He is my Dragon, my phoenix and rebirth. His fire inspires me; his heart is the pearl of wisdom and unfolding beauty. Through my love for him I caress the Universe.
